I am one of those people who really has to have something that moves me in order to write, and the picture
For sometime now I have been thinking about Black women and the role we play in the overall poverty levels in our neighborhoods.I have come to believe that the greatest thing the Black woman can do to stem the rise of poverty, crime and a whole host of other ills, is to simply not have children until she is married and can afford them.Let’s face it, bringing children into the world without a pot piss in or a window to throw it out of, is not only stupid, but unfair to the child.
Now, getting back to that pic you all see, this is an image a young lady posted of herself on her prom night.As you can see, she is not only pregnant, but she is pregnant and butt-azz nekkid on prom night.Now, I don’t know about you all, but I think a butt-azz nekkid, pregnant kid attending her prom, shows that somewhere, somehow, at some point, someone failed to slap the living hell outta this child and tell her this type of behavior is wrong.
Not only is her behavior wrong, but if you look closely, you can see everything that is wrong with Black folk today.You have a pregnant, unmarried child about to bring another child into the world and with absolutely nothing to offer it.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and just guess that the chick in the photo has questionable morals and character.Her attire alone, screams “I’m a whore… even while pregnant”.Her breasts and body being exposed clearly indicates that though she is with child, she still wants to be seen as sexual and enticing (just typing that made me sick (yuck).
I’m also guessing one of the guys in the pic is the child’s father, and seeing that he too is just graduating from highschool, it is safe to assume he has no way of taking care of her, his unborn child, or himself for that matter.So I ask you… why are these two people having a child?
I am in no way advocating abortion, only that we think before we bring other people into the world to suffer.We all know this relationship between these two young people won’t last and in the end this girl will be raising this child alone…. and we should all be scared.
One needs only look at the statistics and our very communities to see that single parent homes lead by Black women will usually produce not so great children.The boys will almost asuredly do some time in jail, and though the girls may fare a lil better, it is usually not by much.
So what do we do? We talk to our children.We explain to them the basics of right and wrong.We enforce our rules, and kick their asses when they don’t follow them.We refuse to accept failure.We rebuff all forms of filth that is considered entertainment today.Turn off the television and when you do turn it on, block MTV, BET and even Nickelodeon which promotes gay and lesbian behavior in children.
Last but not least, we get back to teaching morals.No sex before marriage… you know, all that stuff that is considered old fashion today.Teach your daughters especially to keep their legs closed and explain to her why she should.Maybe if more of our girls knew the hard truth about what their futures will look like hauling around a bunch of illegitimate babies, fewer of them would be willing to take the chance the girl in this photo did.
19 Responses to “Pregnant At The Prom”
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June 21st, 2006 at 11:58 pm
Amen.
This is really sad. My high school would never have let someone go to the prom dressed like that. We had a dress code! If a girl was wearing a dress that didn’t fit the dress code for the prom, she was not allowed to go. Simple as that.
Black women need to realize that we are mostly responsible for state of the black community. Keep your legs closed and make him wait until marriage for sex. I don’t know why most black women are in such a rush to have a baby knowing they don’t have the means to take care of one.
I was brought into the world by a woman like that, and I can’t figure out why she had me. My mom was young, she didn’t have a job, an education, or a husband. Is adoption really that bad? i really wish my mom had considered adoption. It would have made life a lot easier for her and especially me.
These are the reason why I don’t have children. I refuse to have children they every woman on my mom’s side of the family has chosen to have children.
June 22nd, 2006 at 12:31 am
Sistas just don’t think.We are so anxious to have a man… any man, that we are willing to give all we have to men who generally only want us temporarily.We are are willing to accept being called “wifey” rather than actually being the wife.
[quote comment="591"]Amen.
This is really sad. My high school would never have let someone go to the prom dressed like that. We had a dress code! If a girl was wearing a dress that didn’t fit the dress code for the prom, she was not allowed to go. Simple as that.
.[/quote]Back in the day my highschool and junior highschool was the same way.We had a dress code but the school never had to enforce it because when I was growing up we all wanted to wear big fluffy ball gowns and look like Princesses.Today the girls are going for straight hoochie gear and the parents are paying for and condoning it.
Were this my child, she would have never attended the prom in the first place.This child needs to be punished and shown that what she has done is not okay and that the adults will not be giving her a pass or feel sorry for her.
I’m not saying she should be abandoned or locked in the back room, but somehow, some way she has to learn that what she has done is the beginning of the end for her, her child, and the Black community at large.What she has done will effect our communities for years to come and that is no small matter.
Now, it is not a given that she will raise children who will one day terrorize their communities, but facts are facts.Teenagers raising kids just doesn’t work and it is the community at large that will eventually end upp paying for her and her boyfriend’s moment of pleasure.
June 23rd, 2006 at 2:26 pm
Ok I know this is A LITTLE SUDDEN but SHAWNA will you MARRY ME?? Just kidding. But I have to say that I LOVE THE WAY YOU THINK. It’s as if YOU’RE A CLOANED FEMALE VERSION of me. I’m glad to know that all of my people HAVEN’T LOST THEIR MINDS. It appears to me that we’ve gotten to the point where we don’t even have a SPIRITUAL SIDE ANYMORE. We’ve got to get back to ASKING GOD TO DIRECT OUR LIVES and then LISTENING TO HIM. I hope and pray that this is a situation where this young lady has told herself ” I’ve made a mistake, but I’m going to go on with my life, finish high school, and finish college. ” Her appearance certainly makes you question if that’s her mindset or not. Our children are lost BECAUSE THE ADULTS ARE LOST. I’m a PROBATION OFFICER and I’m constantly getting on my people FOR ALLOWING THEMSELVES TO BUY INTO the ways of the world and LOSING THEIR LIVES in the process. Some of my co-workers want to say that I’m “preachy” But I think that’s EXACTLY WHAT some of our people NEED RIGHT NOW… Take care and GOD BLESS…..
June 23rd, 2006 at 8:53 pm
David,
I know someone has already said this, but using all caps is not very appealing to read. I have no idea why you use it. That’s what bold and italics is for. And yes, you are preachy, and people would respond better to your messages if you would stop YELLING at them.
June 23rd, 2006 at 9:10 pm
David and Shawna I agree with you both.We have lost our way with God and our children are paying the ultimate price.A Godless people can raise morally upstanding children and we see that now.It is however never too late.The Lord is always listening.
June 23rd, 2006 at 10:50 pm
Dear Shavonne my SWEET DEAR if you see ALL CAPS in my writing then I’d say that your EYES ARE DECEIVING YOU. I use caps in CERTAIN PARTS of my writing. However, I think it’s a BIT DISHONEST to say that I use ALL CAPS..lolLOL…Can you SEE THAT my love? Take care and GOD BLESS………..
June 25th, 2006 at 9:33 pm
Exactly what would you have us do with this young lady Shawna? What responsibility if any does the young man have? Why no talk of punishing or humiliating him?
June 25th, 2006 at 9:49 pm
You know at this point I think what disgusted me more was not that she was pregnant, but that she was preganat and dressed like a hooker at her prom.
She obviously doesn’t know it, but when people look at her they see trash.I know that is harsh but it is true.The fact that she would even walk out of her home to go to the prom, much less with no clothes on screams “trash” , but she just doesn’t get it.she thinks she’s Fly.
It’s still all fun and games to her.She gets to go to her prom and party like it’s 1999 while at least 6 months preganat.
Where is the lesson in that?
And to answer your question Valerie, the first thing I would have done is kept her behind home.What else… I dunno know? I would have to be in that situation to fully say what I would do.As for her boyfriend, he would have been instructed from the get go not to put his hands on my daughter.
Few people think to put down guidelines for what their children should and shouldn’t do when dating.How many parents today actually tell their children not to have sex? Probably not many.Instead they pass out the condoms.
I’m all for chaperoning teens too.Sending your teenage daughter out alone with her horny boyfriend is just asking for trouble.Again, I say bring the the olden days when boys came over and sat in your livingroom to visit your daughter and not her bedroom.
June 25th, 2006 at 9:52 pm
[quote comment="594"]Ok I know this is A LITTLE SUDDEN but SHAWNA will you MARRY ME?? Just kidding…[/quote]
Sure you were *wink* *wink*
June 26th, 2006 at 8:40 am
This is the most anti-woman blog I’ve ever visited. I hurts me that we so freely disparage our sisters based on looks and our personal values. How arrogant!
June 26th, 2006 at 10:44 am
I don’t think you have read enough of this blog to actually call it anti-woman and I refuse to make excuses for anyone.The chick in the photo needs to learn some respect for herself and her unborn child.Somebody had better tell her this now before she seeps deeper into the abyss of whoredom.Many things that plague our children today could be avoided if we just took the time to talk to them and teach them right from wrong.
June 26th, 2006 at 11:19 pm
[quote comment="601"]This is the most anti-woman blog I’ve ever visited. I hurts me that we so freely disparage our sisters based on looks and our personal values. How arrogant![/quote]
Some Sistas “disparage” themselves. You may be content with making excuses for poor behavior and bad choices but I for one will no longer turn the cheek and make excuses. That pregnant girl has no class or self respect and it sadly reflects on other black women who conduct themselves in a respectful manner.
June 27th, 2006 at 7:29 pm
I say what I say because I care.I am a Black woman and so the well being of the Black woman naturally means a great deal to me.Having said that, I think it’s time someone starts talking to the Black woman and the best time to talk to her is when she is a Black girl.Had someone taken the time to talk to the Siata in the photo she may not be where she is today.My Grandmother used to say “I chastise you because I love you” Well that is what I am doing with this post.If I didn’t care, I would keep my mouth shut and just shake my head and roll my eyes like most folks do.I speak up, because I want Sistas to be the best they can be.This Sista can be so much more than a pregnant baby mama.I know that, now someone just has to tell her so she knows it.
June 27th, 2006 at 8:39 pm
Shawna sadly that was the norm at my High school.It wasn’t a rare thing to see a girl pregant and chillin at the prom with her baby daddy.It’s a sad situation but it’s reality and the norm this day and time.Young girl need to learn to love them self and stop seeking love by offering what’s between there legs.
I love your blog girl
June 28th, 2006 at 9:29 pm
While I agree with the underlying message in your post, I disagree with many of your comments:
“…the greatest thing the Black woman can do to stem the rise of poverty, crime and a whole host of other ills, is to simply not have children until she is married and can afford them” - being married doesn’t mean you can afford them and being single doesn’t mean you can not. To rise above poverty and other ills of the black community, black people in general (not just black women) need to make higher education a priority, get rid of the immediate gratification mentality, stop blaming “the man” for all of our problems, learn money management skills, become self sufficient, and plan for the future.
“We all know this relationship between these two young people won’t last and in the end this girl will be raising this child alone…” - that is quite an assumption. My parents were married at 17 and stayed together for 23 years. One aunt married at 19 and stayed married until hubby died at 41. One cousin married at 18 and still married after 10 years. Another cousin (age 30) never married but raising two children with the same man for 12 years.
“One needs only look at the statistics and our very communities to see that single parent homes lead by Black women will usually produce not so great children…and though the girls may fare a lil better, it is usually not by much.” - I am appalled by this comment. I am a single black parent, and I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I am raising a well rounded, gifted young lady with diverse interest, skills, and abilities.
I firmly agree with marriage before sex/children. However, most marriages do not last “until death do you part” and the mom typically assumes the role of custodial parent. This alternative family structure does not deem every black child to live a life of poverty and distress. I understand the intent of your post but it was lost in the stereotypical and generalized assumptions. I am living proof that there are exceptions.
June 30th, 2006 at 9:57 am
I agree with you about the young girl’s atTire. I am very much against teen pregnancy. It is bad enough that she is a pregnant teenager without her flaunting it dressed as a stripper. I disagreed with you on your statement about waiting until marriage. In todays world many people do not get married until they are 30 or 40 something. You and I both know that the average human being is not going to wait that long to have sex. I think we need to tell teenagers that sex is something for ADULTS who behave in a responsible manner(Condoms AND birth control). There are plenty of married adults who have children they can not afford too. In this country we have such an unnatural view towards sex. We need to accept human nature “for being what it is” and encourage people to use condoms and birth control ALL OF THE TIME.
July 2nd, 2006 at 5:19 pm
It’s great that some women manage to have successful careers and produce productive children without a man in the home; however, that does not make it right. Baby making should be reserved for the married and yes I was raised by a successful single mother.
July 2nd, 2006 at 10:29 pm
[quote comment="615"]
It’s great that some women manage to have successful careers and produce productive children without a man in the home; however, that does not make it right. Baby making should be reserved for the married and yes I was raised by a successful single mother.[/quote]
My comment did not allude to a right or wrong. In fact, I stated “I firmly agree with marriage before sex/children.” However, the “babymaking” could have occurred within the marriage but there is no crystal ball that will determine how long the couple will stay together. In a perfect world…until death. In the real world…well, statistics show that too. When life happens, you make the best of the hand you are dealt.
August 23rd, 2006 at 2:40 am
Thank you for getting the word out. I am a father of 3 boys. Boys that I would know,know better about what makes a man, a young man that a young ladies father woud not lose sleep over if any of them were to take her out. Unfortunately I am an oddity because my definition of a man is one who stays the course and tends to his obligations like a farmer to his crops ,because what are our children,nothing more then the fruits of our labour. Thank you