You know sometimes a fool just needs to be a called a fool.No beating around the bush, not being subtle… just telling it like it is.This is one of those times.While talking to my ex, the father of my children, I discovered his sister is having marital problems because an affair she was having with a much younger man, has been discovered by her husband.
Now before I go into why this chick needs to be called a fool, I will give you some background on my sis-in-law and her husband.I will refer to my sis-in-law as Linda and her husband I will call Eddie.
Now, Linda is much like her Brother, my ex.They are both two very beautiful Black people who have been told all their lives that they are beautiful, and they both took it to heart.Linda was always quite loose with the men because of this and even cheated on Eddie in the early stages of their relationship.Eddie however did not know this.
As for Eddie, he was a good guy and everyone loved him.I cannot say I personally know what type of husband he is, but if his actions are any indicator, he was one hell of a husband and provider.
When Linda and Eddie met, the Sista was like so many ghetto Sistas, she had 2 children from a previous relationship, a dead end job, and semi-fly apartment in the projects.
Then along comes Eddie.The Brotha has a decent job, a place of his own and seems like an all around cool guy.
He and Linda have a child together and a few years later he and Linda marry.In between this time, Linda now has a job Eddie got her.She has a car Eddie purchased for her and they are now home owners, all because Eddie put these things in motion.
He wanted better for Linda so he told her to go back to school and once she finished he said he could guarantee her a job at his place of employment.She complied and just as the Brotha stated, he got her job where he worked.
He didn’t like his woman walking or riding the bus when he was unavailable to drive her, so he taught her how to drive and eventually purchased her a nice little used car of her own.
But the Brotha still was not finished.He then took Linda, married her, making her his Wife rather than his woman or Baby Mama.
Brother then decided that they should be home owners rather than renters, so he went about helping his new wife clean up her credit and get their finances in order so they could make this American dream happen.
Five years later, they are home owners living in an awsome home with a pool in a beautiful area of Staten Island.
So after all this, how does Linda repay the kindness of her Husband? She decides to cheat on him so she can feel “young” again.
When I heard this I nearly hit floor.Mainly because Linda is in her early 40′s and should know better than to be pulling these twenty year old shenanigans.She should be long past this need to prove that she is still hot and can catch all the men.
Here she is in a position very few Black women find themselves in and she just up and throws it all away so she can act as if she is single again.I swear I just wanted to pick up the phone and say “What was yo dumbass thinking?”
Now her husband is contemplating divorce and a family is ruined.Linda is about to find out how hard it is to find a good man in your 40′s and her son is about to find out what it is like to come from a broken home.
I feel sad for all those involved, but especially for Eddie and their son.Linda’s stupidity and selfishness has forever changed all their lives.
So on behalf of all the women out there with common enough sense to know that you should love your husband rather than cheat on him, I say…
LINDA, YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER!
[tags]Marriage, Infidelity, Cheating Spouse[/tags]
Ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
Kahlil Gibran
Dang. He sounds a lot like my husband and when we met, it was a somewhat similar situation. I had two kids anyway and down on my luck. My husband is a hardworking, genuinely decent brotha-man and I cannot for the life of me imagine hurting or demeaning him or our relationship. I watch the man sleep and thank God all of the time for bringing a brotha like this into my life. What makes a sista do something so crazy?
That’s really very sad. For all of the them but maybe especially for her since it is she that can have all of that and still not be content. Wow.
Congratualtions on finding your man Kaety… does he have a Brotha you can send my way?
Poor Eddie. Why does it seem like “good” people tend to marry “bad” people? Two of a kind rarely hook up. I’m not one to promote divorce, but Eddie needs to leave her. This sounds like a habit.
I am the other side of the situation. I am the good woman with two jobs, that meets an unemployed man, and does not look down on his situation. I encourage him, be there the night before he has his first day of work. Because he can’t sleep, first day nerves. Yet, all I seem to get is nothing in return… Except ex-girlfriends calling constantly, ex-baby mother calling constantly. Woman downstairs knocking on the door, in the middle of the night like she lives there. (But does not.) Lord please send me a man who is on the same level that I am, and is not fat!!
Lorraine, can I ask you why you allowed a man like that into your life in the first place? Accepting that he is unemployed is one thing but that doesn’t mean you have to accept him as your responsibility.
How long have you been together? Is he the father of your children? Did he move in with you?
Remember, this man can only do to you what you allow him to.
Oh and welcome to my Blog
No, we don’t have children together. And, we don’t live together…In fact I have only known him for 3 months. Although he has suggested we move in together. I was a bit shocked by that; since he has his own money from the past good job he had. Not to mention he doesn’t want to move into my house. (Cause it’s a foreclose–needs LOTS OF WORK done). Claims he can only commit to someone after he’s lived with them. I told him I can’t commit to dating one guy and or live with a guy until I have a ring. He played that “I wannta live with you” trick on his ex-relationships. Oh he paid his share of bills. But the first one was left with 2 children, and the second one he just left. Both want him back. From what I gather neither women were not cheated on. Cause I sure was looking for evidence of that. It just seems like the relationships came to an end because they were dependent. Where I am totally different. I am independent, and on the move! He would have to hop on plane to keep up with me. And that is what he loves. He has told me that he loves me. I wasn’t ready to say it back… So I told him I love the way that sounds…, say it again. So he did. It is just way too soon for me to say those words. Even if I felt it. Which I’m not sure I do.
I’m confused now Lorraine.Is he a good guy or a bad guy?
I’m waiting for the update.Have she and her husband split up or did they work it out?
They have split up ADR and it was Linda’s choice.Eddie keeps calling my Ex crying as old boy appears to still love his wife and wants her back.I feel so bad for him.It’s rare for men to take back a cheating wife but I guess Eddie is the exception to the rule.
See that’s the problem. I had trouble figuring out whether he was a good guy or a bad guy. Well, he went back to his ex-girlfriend. She actually wanted him back even though we had been together since the end of Jan. Seems that he’s actually a good guy that makes bad decisions. I know his ex-girlfriend is going to use him. But that is what he needs… Someone, who needs him. I am way to independent. I WANT him but, I don’t need him. He tells me he knows it’s not going to workout with his ex but he just needs time to find that out. Not being one to wait around doing nothing. I am currently on a trip to visit my family. And, when I get back I will be taking some classes. Here’s more proof of a good person wanting to be with someone that is no good for them.